I go back and forth with this question. For instance, I truly believe that God brought Matt and I back together less than a year after we went on a blind date...which led to us eventually beginning to date and eventually getting married. BUT...I believe that things happen for a reason as well. For instance, I believe that things didn't work out at my job in Spokane, Washington, after college because I was meant to be back in California and start my post-college life here.
For whatever reason, someone came back into my life tonight and the timing couldn't have been more poetic. On Friday at Kohl's while shopping, I saw one of good friend's mom's, Denny. My mom has somewhat kept in touch with her over the past few years. They would see each other around town or at different city functions. Tonight, at Merriment on Main in Vacaville (where there are 16,000 people in attendance) I ran into Denny again with her grand daughters. How weird, I thought. She told me that her daughter, Jesse, was just across the way. I haven't talked to Jesse in over a year. We were good friends all through high school and kept in some contact afterwards. We became closer friends when she and her family moved down the street from me when her youngest daughter, now 6, was an infant. They lived there for about a year and a half and moved out of that house shortly before Diana was born. To make a long story short, we lost touch around the time Diana turned 1. She became a firefighting paramedic, I became a mom trying to balance that and being a coach's wife. I admit (and still do) that I have a hard time keeping in touch with friends and being proactive about getting together with girlfriends.
But, for whatever reason (may it be God putting her back in my life tonight or karma or 'things happen for a reason') I saw her for the first time in years tonight. There was a little awkwardness because I feel guilty for not being a good friend. I told her that I would call her and we said that we would get together sometime. I hope that we do. Jesse is a really good friend and her kids still remember me and were really excited to see me. I can't believe they remember me.
I still have a photo of her three kids sitting with Diana on the porch one summer, Diana was little. I think it was one of the last times we all got together. It's on my desk upstairs.
Why does it take something like karma, or Merriment on Main, to bring people together? Why is it so hard to keep in touch with friends that you've had since high school when they live just down the street? What's even sadder to me is how much Jesse still keeps in touch with so many people that I still talk to as well. We still talk to the same people, but not to each other. We didn't have a falling out or anything like that. Her phone number hasn't changed. My inability to make friends a necessity in my life is the only thing to blame. It's sad, really.
There are other New Year's Resolutions that I will make for 2009 (even though I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions) but this is No. 1...Gotta make more time for girlfriends.
4 comments:
Hey Ang, you are not alone in feeling this way at all. My sister and I have this conversation often. Sometimes I feel like I invest a lot of trust into friendships and the other person doesn't even realize sometimes. I miss the friendships I had when I was younger. I worked so hard to find good friends and to have it all end, is strange. I too, find it hard to reconnect sometimes and would almost rather avoid the moment. I really need to work harder at this too.
I have this same problem! I think we just get so busy and we start focusing on our family and for the most part, that is where I would rather be most of the time...with my husband and kids.
How great that you are in contact again!
I feel the same way too, the difference is that we don't know that many people here in Fairfield, so the friends we do have we cherish... all our HS and college friends live in the Bay area or other states and its hard to see them.
I do hope we can hang out more often, before my baby comes.
Sorry to tell you "youngsters" that this dilemma doesn't go away. While we really do have time to keep up friendships, it does become a matter of priorities that seem to change even when we have time. Just think back to how busy you all were in high school and yet always found time to "do it all." With that being said, I commend you (all) for putting family first - from what I see out there in the world, there is too little of that anymore.
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