Where's MY summer camp?

Diana was at summer camp for the last two weeks. She participated in a sports camp, where there was a lot more going on than just sports - they went on a field trip to Scandia, went to the dollar movies and did arts and crafts every morning. Last week she had cooking camp, where they "cooked" sandwiches, tortillas, edible arrangements and other goodies. They also went on a field trip on the city bus to Fresh Choice and two of the days they went swimming. There was also a park right outside the site so they played there too.
What I want to know is...where is MY summer camp? I want to go away for a week, do arts and crafts, go swimming, cook, go to a movie and play sports. I also would love to play miniature golf since I haven't played that in probably three years.
I guess my house is a constant camp, but it sure doesn't feel like it. I supervise the arts and crafts, act as lifeguard during swimming (even though I don't know CPR -I know, that's bad) and cook the meals for other people.
My ideal camp would be me at a quiet location, sans children, with my Kindle, soaking up the sun and sleeping in until about 9 a.m. I want to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it without a child saying "Can I have one?" This is all wishful thinking because these "camps" cost mucho dinero that I just don't have. I will have to improvise and have a makeshift camp during naptimes. I can sit in the backyard in my bikini, with my Kindle, soaking up the sun and sneak some snacks while the kids can't see me. As for the arts and crafts, I will have to make sure to take part in them, instead of just supervising. I will insist that my husband take me on a date to go play mini golf one of these days.
Camp might be spread out among several days, but I will get my chance too!